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Sky diving
A guy took up sky diving. On his first jump, he pulled the ripcord. The chute shot out and got tangled, and he had cut it free. He pulled the cord on the reserve chute, and it came out tangled, too. Saying his final prayers, he looked down to the ground. To his amazement, a young woman was shooting up toward him, coming up faster than he was going down. "Hey!" the guy yells as they were passing. "You know anything about parachutes?" "No!" the woman hollered back. "You know anything about gas stoves?" 
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