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Police monkey
A tourist visiting New York City walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, a police officer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll take a Patrol monkey, please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop, and took out a monkey. He fit it with a collar and leash and handed it to the officer saying, "That'll be $1,000." The officer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it cost so much?" The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey is an expert in firing small arms, can write 20 tickets a month, and is certified in small unit tactics... well worth the money!" The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more expensive! $10,000 What does it do?" "Oh, that one's a POST certified Technician Patrol monkey, it can instruct other monkeys in basic firearms skills, counter-terrorism training, physical training, small unit tactics and it can even type. All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a large cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $70,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What on earth does it do?" The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything but it says it's a Sergeant." 
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