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What women mean
Yes = No. No = Yes. Maybe = Hell no. We need = I want. I'm sorry = You'll be sorry. We need to talk = I need to complain. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs. You're so .... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like. 
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