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New boots
A man is on a business trip in Houston and buys a really cool pair of snakeskin boots and can't wait to show them to his wife. Upon returning from his trip late the next evening, his wife is in the bathroom getting ready for bed. He quickly strips down naked except for his new boots and stands in the bedroom to wait for her. As his wife emerges from the bathroom, her husband asks, "Well, honey, do you notice anything special?" To which the wife replies, "Yeah, it's limp!" "It's not limp!" exclaims the husband. "It's admiring my new snakeskin boots!" The wife looks at him and says, "Well next time buy a hat." 
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