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Wet shoes
A ninety eight year old gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said: "That's no problem. How many do you want?" The man answered: "Just a few, maybe four, but cut each one in four pieces." The doctor said: "That won't do you any good." The elderly gentleman said: "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes." 
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