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Dogs & light bulbs
How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? Lab- Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh? Dachshund- You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! Malamute- Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed me while he's busy. Jack Russell Terrier- I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls. Greyhound- It isn't moving. Who cares? Cocker Spaniel- Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. Mastiff- Screw it yourself! I'm not afraid of the dark... Doberman- While it's out, I'll just take a nap on the couch. Boxer- Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 
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