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Canoe
A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals. The chief of the cannibals comes to them and says "Guys, I have good news and bad news." "The bad news is that now that we've caught you, we're going to kill you. We will put you in a pot and cook you, eat you, and then use your skins to build a canoe." "The good news is that you get to choose how you die." The Frenchman says, in a very heavy french accent, "I take ze sword." When the chief gives him a sword the Frenchman takes it, exclaims "Vive la France," and runs himself through. The Englishman is next. He looks the chief in the eye and says "A pistol for me, please." The chief gives him the pistol. The Englishman cocks the gun, points it at his head, yells "God save the queen!" and blows his brains out. The chief turns to the New Yorker. "Gimme a fork," the man says, with complete disdain. The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives the man a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over his body - the stomach, the sides, the chest, his arms, his legs, everywhere. Blood is gushing out of what seems like every inch of his body. It is horrible. The chief is appalled, and asks "My God, what are you doing?" The New Yorker looks up at him from the ever expanding pool of blood and says "So much for your canoe, you stupid bastard!" Submitted by Curtis Edited by Yisman 
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