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Pirates in bar
So, there are these two pirates talking in this bar. One's got a wooden leg and a hook and even a patch too. The other one's just got the pirate clothes. So the second pirate says to the first, "how'd ya get that wooden leg mate?". The first reply’s "arrr, it done got bit off bye a varmint shark." The second pirate is of course impressed, "aye, dat's really a pirate ting to have happen. How'd ya get dat metal 'hook?" The first reply’s "lost err in a sword fight, bastard cut off me bloody hand!". "Aye, dat's really a pirate ting to have happen" says the second pirate, again impressed. "How'd ya get dat patch on your eye?". "Well I was up in the crow's nest eh, and I looked up to spy this seagull" says the pirate's pirate, "and the damn ting shit right in me eye". In disbelief the second pirate says "Well, how'd dat make ya blind?" The first pirate replied: "Arr...first day wit me 'ook." 
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