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Ugly Sally
There was a farmer with no one in the world but his daughter and his farming business, and he knew his time was coming. So he asked his most trusted hand, "Son, as you all know, I ain't no spring chicken anymore, and it breaks my heart to think of leaving poor Sally all alone in this world. If you agree to marry and care for her after I am dead, everything will be yours from that road way yonder, to beyond the barn. Now you'll have to bag her head when you fuck, and she'll repeat most everything, but she's a good gal. Whatta ya say, son?" After much thought, the man agreed. After the funeral, both men had kept their promises, and Sally had a new beau. One day she was helping him fix the barn roof. He'd say, "Sally, get the ladder." She'd run and mutter, "Get the ladder, get the ladder, get the ladder." and she'd bring it. Later he needed a hammer. "Get the hammer, get the hammer, get the hammer. "While he was nailing, he hit his finger and yelled, "FUCK!" To which she chirps, "Get the bag, get the bag, get the bag!" Submitted by whisperin_bullhorn Edited by Curtis 
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