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Truckers in heaven
Three truckdrivers died and went to heaven where they met St. Peter at the gates. St. Peter says, "I have to ask each of you three simple questions before you can enter the gates to paradise." So he calls the first driver over and asks his questions. "Have you ever drunk any hard liquor?" "No." "Have you ever done any dope?" "No." "Well have you ever screwed around with other women?" "No." St. Peter points to the left and says, "You stand by that door right over there." He calls the second guy over and starts; "Have you ever drunk any hard liquor?" "No, that'd be bad for my health." "Have you ever done any drugs?" "No sir, that'd be breaking the law." "Well have you ever screwed around with any women?" "No way, that'd be breaking one of the ten commandments." St. Peter says "Allright, stand by your buddy over there." and called the third truckdriver over. He starts, "Have you ever drunk any hard liquor?" "Well, I tried not to but I've always been an alcoholic." "Well! Let me ask you this, Have you ever done any drugs?" "Why hell yea, how do you think I stay awake to run 20 hours a day, you've got to roll to make the dough." "Well," St. Peter asks "I've got to know, have you ever scewed around with any women?" "Ooooooooooweeee; maaaan, there's this dame back in Baltimore that'll suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!" St. Peter pointed to the right and says "You stand by that door over there." When the driver asks about the other two guys, St. Peter explains "Your buddies are going to hell; but we're going back to Baltimore!!!" Edited by Calamjo 
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