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Old Ladies Nipple
One day poor old Lena decided she didn't want to be in this world any longer. She resolved to commit suicide. She figured the best way was to shoot herself in the heart...but she didn't know just where her heart was. She called a doctor for the information. The doctor said that usually on a women, the heart is located about four inches below the left nipple. Lena followed the directions perfectly and was therefore very surprised to regain consciousness in a hospital. "I should be dead!" she wailed. "Don't worry, lady," the orderly answered, "your knee will mend before you know it!" 
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