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Redneck quickies 3
You might be a redneck if... You've totaled every car you've ever owned. There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car. Momma taught you how to flip a cigarette. There is a wasp nest in your living room. The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes your voice. You give your dad a gallon of Pepto-Bismol for his birthday. There has ever been crime-scene tape on your front door. You burn your front yard rather than mow it. You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment 
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