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Man On The Porch
This little old lady calls 911. When the operator answers she yells, "Help, send the police to my house right away. There's a damn Democrat on my front porch and he's playing with himself." "What?" the operator exclaimed. "I said there is a damn Republican on my front porch playing with himself and he's weird; I don't know him and I'm afraid! Please send the police." the little old lady repeated. Well, now, how do you know he's a Republican? "Because, you damn fool, if it was a Democrat, he'd be screwing somebody else!" 
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