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Monkey on a string
This guy walked into a bar with a monkey on a string. He sat at the bar, and announced that the monkey is for sale. The barman relied "I don't want any monkey!! They destroy everthing, and they are a nuisnace!" The guy replied "But this is a special monkey. It gives a really good blowjob. Look, go in the back and try it out." After 10 minutes, the barman returns with a broad grin. "Man, that monkey is really good!! How much do you want for it?" $200 was exchanged. That evening, the barman returned home to his wife. "Hi, dear. I just bought this monkey. I want you to teach it to cook and wash, and then I want you to get the hell out of this house!!!" 
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