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Defense Attorney: "Would you please state your age to the court for the record." Little Old Lady: "I am 86 years old." Defense Attorney: "Will you tell us in your own words, what happened to you on the night in question." Little Old Lady: "There I was sitting on my porch swing on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up the porch stairs and sits down beside me." Defense Attorney: "Did you know him?" Little Old Lady: "No, but he sure was friendly." Defense Attorney: "Then what happened after he sat down beside you?" Little Old Lady: "Well, he started to rub my thighs." Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him?" Little Old Lady: "No, I didn't." Defense Lawyer: "Why not?" Little Old Lady: "It felt good. Nobody has done that since my Dan passed away 30 years ago." Defense Attorney: "Then what happened?" Little Old Lady: "He started to rub my breasts." Defense Attorney: "Did you stop him then?" Little Old Lady: "No" Defense Attorney: "Why not?" Little Old Lady: "Well your honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I hadn't felt that good in years." Defense Attorney: "What happened next?" Little Old Lady: "Well, I started to feel so spicy that I said to him, "Take me young man". Defense Attorney: "And did he take you?" Little Old Lady: "No. That's when he yelled April Fool!.. And that's when I shot him." 
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