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Tried to kill myself
There was a blonde and she went to the emergency room because she got shot in the hand. The doctor asked her how she got shot in the hand. She replied,"I tried to kill myself." He replies"what?" She says, "Well,first i put the gun to my chest,then thought '"Wait I have a 500 dollar boob job,and don't want to mess it up", then I put the gun to my chin, and thought "well, I just got new dental work done, don't want that messed up", so I put the gun to my ear,and then thought, it will be really loud, so I put my hand between the gun and my ear and pulled the trigger!" 
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