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British Warning Stic

THE BRITISH BOARD OF HEALTH HAS PROPOSED THAT WARNING SIGNS BE PLACED ON BOOZE BOTTLES TO TIP OFF DRINKERS ABOUT THE POSSIBLE PERIL OF POUNDING A PINT OR TWO.



1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.



2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.



3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.



4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to say things like thish.



5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office Christmas party.



6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.



7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.



8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)



9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.



10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.
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2008/11/23 7:22:36