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Nuns into heaven
When nuns are admitted to heaven they go through a special gate and are expected to make one last confession before they become angels. Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to be absolved of their last sins before they are made holy. 'And so,' says Saint Peter, 'have you ever had any contact with a man's penis?' 'Well,' said the first nun in line, 'I did see one once.' 'OK,' says Saint Peter, 'rinse your eyes in the Holy Water and pass on into heaven.' The next nun admits that, 'Well, yes, I did once get carried away and I, you know, sort of massaged one a bit.' '0K,' says Saint Peter, rinse your hand in the Holy Water and pass on into heaven.' Suddenly there is some jostling in the line and one of the nuns is trying to cut to the front of the queue. 'Well now, what's going on here?' says Saint Peter. 'Well, Your Excellency,' says the nun, who is trying to improve her position in line, 'if I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Sister Mary Thomas sticks her arse in it.' 
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