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Farting in the Resta
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night waiting for her date. She wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!". The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way is it headed?" 
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