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The Mage in Battle
Top 10 things you don't want to hear your mage say in battle. 10) "Is it virgin's tears and dragon's blood, or dragon's tears and virgin's blood? Maybe the dragon was a virgin.." 9) "Hmm...is this the recipe for a Potion of Healing, or for Chile Con Carne?" 8) "Oh, oh, oh, oh! That wand of cold balls -didn't- do what I expected." 7) "By any chance, have you seen a summoned 9th order fire elemental wandering around? No? Oh.. Tell me if you do." 6) "It's supposed to have five points?" 5) "My familiar will take care of that dragon! Sic 'em, Fifi!" 4) "What kind of cheap, wussyarse excuse for a djinn only gives one wish? Oh, he's still here..." 3) "Eennie, meenie, miny, moe.. Which end points toward the foe?" 2) "Damn. I knew I should have used Energizers in this thing." And, the number one thing you don't want to hear from your mage.. 1) "Oops..." 
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