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Sleepy captain
When you're on "reserve" with an airline, you fly when they tell you to fly. Being unable to be contacted is a lesser offense than refusing or missing an assigned trip. This captain gets an "A" for his creativity in avoiding an assignment. When crew scheduling woke him up at 3 A.M. to assign him to a 5 A.M. departure, he passed the phone to his wife and said in a voice loud enough for them to hear on the other end, "Here, darling, I think it's someone calling for your husband." Crew scheduling omitted the usual question and answer period. 
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