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Voodoo
A guy is going to go on a buisness trip, and he doesn't want his wife to cheat on him, so he goes into a porn shop. He walks up to the guy at the front counter, and tells him his story, and asks for something that will work for sure, since he's going to be gone for several weeks. The store's clerk replies, "well I have one thing, but it's kind of expensive." The man asks "is there's anything else?" The clerk says "not that will for sure work." So the man says "alright, what is it?" "Well it's called voodoo dick. How it works is, you say voodoo dick, then say whatever part of your body you want it to fuck." Okay the guy says, and buys it. When he brings it home to his wife, she insists that it is not necissary. He explains how to use it to her anyways, and leaves on his trip. Later that night his wife was curious about the voodoo dick. So she opened it up, pulled down her panties, and said "voodoo dick my pussy". Instantly the voodoo dick starts fucking her. She has several orgasms before she wants it to stop, but she doesn't know how to get it to stop, and can't figure it out. So she decides to go to the hospital. She's driving there, the voodoo dick still fucking her and she's still having orgasms, When a cop sees how horribly she's driving, and pulls her over. He walks up to her window, starts telling her what she has done. When he looks at her and asks "what the fuck are you doing?" She explains about how her husband didn't want her to cheat on him while he was away, so he got her the voodoo dick, and how it works. She also explains to the officer that she is on the way to the hospital, because she can't figure out how to get the voodoo dick to stop. When she finishes he laughs and says "voodoo dick my ass." 
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