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Idiot's sex guide
1. Eating Mexican food is not the cause of gonorrhea. 2. There is no need for dice in role playing. 3. Intercourse doesn't happen on a highway. 4. If you engage in oral sex first, it's not called a head start. 5. If she says she's into "bondage," don't show her your financial portfolio. 6. You can lie down during a one-night stand. 7. When a woman talks about waiting for the "right time," she's not referring to a commercial break. 8. Only sleep with someone you love or can say you love without smirking. 9. Making out doesn't mean getting your money's worth. 10. Sex is like "The Club" - Accept no substitutes. 
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