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Stopped for speeding
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain". "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." The man tried again to plead his case. "But officer, I just wanted to say . . ." "And I said to keep quiet!" The officer said, "You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom." 
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