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Heaven and hell
Jim and Johnny die in a boating accident. Jim goes to heaven and Johnny goes to hell. One day Jim looks down at Johnny in hell. Johnny has a beer in his hand and a blonde on his lap. Jim gets pissed off, so he goes to God and says, "What is this? I think I want to go to hell. Just look at my friend down there." God says, "Look closer. The beer has a hole in the bottom, and the blonde doesn't." 
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