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Talking clock
Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, the drunk yuppie led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friends asked. "Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock," the drunk replied. "A talking clock? Seriouiouously?" (burping) "Yup." "Hmmm (hic)." "How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it. "Watshhh," the yuppie replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment in silence. Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "For f***'s sake you idiot, it's ten past three in the morning." 
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