Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown apartment to a couple of friends late one night, the drunk yuppie led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.
"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the friends asked.
"Issss nod a gong. Issss a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriouiouously?"
(burping) "Yup."
"Hmmm (hic)."
"How's it work?" the second friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watshhh," the yuppie replied. He picked up a hammer, gave it an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment in silence.